Dear Tami,

 

It has been a long time since I have invaded Tamiland and written anything to you.  I hope and pray that you and Sugar are doing well.

 

The past year was not an easy one for either of us and was filled with some real emotional trauma for both of us. I am truly sorry for the losses that you suffered during the year and I want you to know that you have been in my heart and prayers the entire time. I cried for you at the loss of your sister and wanted to be there to just tell you in person that I was sorry for your loss. I was equally saddened by Dan's passing and know that this had to have hit you hard so soon after Teresa's passing. I hope that the boys have been able to cope with the loss of their parents and I know that you have stepped up as best you can to help them thru this difficult time.

 

I have continued to fight the good fight for all parents with my federal case although it has been a very bumpy road. This is something that we talked about when I told you that I was going to do this and believe me it has not been easy. The federal judge has made so many mistakes in her effort to not hear this case and allow me the justice that I deserve.

 

When I first filed the case in March of 2008, the judge sat on the case until Kevan turned eighteen so that it gave the impression that there was not issue to be heard by the courts. Despite my efforts to get her to reconsider her actions I did have to take it to the next level of courts by filing an appeal with the Court of Appeals in Cincinnati. After looking at the mess this judge had created we talked it over and decided that my best course of action was to withdraw the appeal and re-write and re-file the case again. Another tree cut down in paperwork.

 

This time the same judge sat on it until Christmas and again dismissed the case under poorly researched law. It is so damn frustrating to deal with these idiots when they refuse to read what is in front of them and just see that it involves a domestic relations case and blow it off. All she had to do was read the complaint and think for a second and realize that there is a legitimate question of law here and do the right thing and allow me to have the case judged by a jury of my peers.

 

I have filed another appeal with the court in Cincinnati and sit and wait for them to try to show some back bone on this issue. They will have a hard time getting rid of this because of some of the questions I posed to them in the appeals brief and some other current cases going on in the state.

 

Yes, there is anther case similar to mine but it is in State court in Columbus. This case is brought by a friend of mine and we are working closely on both cases. I think that he will end up in federal court with me and he is prepared to do that. The state has already tried to dump him but he is fighting back hard. I will say that Chuck made one of the most unselfish moves I have ever seen when he refused a temporary orders hearing on custody so that he could go after the law itself. He has not seen his son for nearly two years now but he put the needs of everyone else ahead of his own to fight.

 

I just want this to be over with so that I can have a normal life again. Fifteen years of fighting the courts and lobbying legislators is wearing on me. I would like to have the war be over and relax and not have to answer all the questions that I get by email and by phone. Unfortunately my role nationally has become even bigger now as there have been some major thing happen on the national front that have forced me to take a larger and more public role as a leader. I have always had a leadership role on this level but now because of some people that have been trying to destroy the work of too many good people I have had to step up and become more vocal and help to quash the problems.

 

Last summer I was able to meet with a group of guys that road bikes from Lansing Michigan to Washington DC. Had great short visit with a couple of guys that I talk to on the internet all the time but had never met in person.

 

We are making progress with getting legislators interested in my custody bill again.  I have some people working this with me and we have made inroads across the state. I have been after the bigger fish in the [pond on this one and am talking with the Senate President directly and making some progress on the State Representative level. Some listen but too many are like blobs on the wall and have no clue that there is a real civil rights and equality issue here.

 

I am still fighting the store for my unemployment money. I have never seen a company so willing to lie to protect themselves in all my life. As I sat thru the hearings I caught lie after lie during sworn testimony from their witnesses and their attorney. I wanted to puke and when we finally got to tell the truth both my attorney and I thought we nailed them to the wall. I don't know who they have in their pocket at unemployment but I will find out one day. No company can go as long as they have been in business and only pay two claims.  Makes me wonder if there wasn't a deal between them and Unemployment when they took over the former unemployment space for the Norton store.

 

I have talked to a few people from the store but not too often. Tenny and the Bevers mostly. All the Bevers are out of there now with Dave leaving a few weeks ago when he got tired of the crap. I talk to Amanda and James often as I have been helping them to get to see his son. I helped him with a round of court stuff last summer and won on every count but we still have a long ways to go. They are expecting again in September and I have been told that it will be another boy.

 

Thankfully I have been picking up some web work and have been working for the one customer that I have that does water front construction (his wife is the one with the bathing suit site).  Yep, me doing heavy construction with iron and concrete now.  It all started last summer when I got an offer from them to do a deck job in Thompson and now I am working for them full time, or as long as the jobs last. I have been staying in Ashtabula since October. I have learned a lot and this is very different work than I have ever done before.

 

It can get crazy and scary at the same time. There is nothing like having a thousand pounds of steel go past your head or having to climb to the top of a crane 40' in the air to fix something that breaks at just the wrong time. I have been set on fire with torches and fallen off walls. I get back here every day tired and sore. Owner's wife keeps kidding me that I am getting buff from all the work. I have dug more with a shovel in the past couple months that I care to think about. But if it has to be done I do it.

 

We are now working on a job at Geneva On The Lake right down on Lake Erie. Our next one is in Madison and we may end up going to Erie PA for another.  I would rather be doing some thing else but it is work and money.

 

I have been trying to get things back together n with my son but that has been a challenge in itself. I have had some real heartbreak there at times and some revelations as to some reasons why some other things have happened.

 

I was never informed or invited to his graduation. I never got an invite or was ever told about when it was. Every time I asked he told me he did not know. The week of graduation he disappeared and I did not find him until after it was over.  When I found out that I had missed it I blew up and I cried. I had done everything I could to be there and was denied again by the bitch.

 

Part of the reason you may have had a hard time getting a photo of him may have been him. He has let his hair grow and it is now waist length. My own little hippie. He may not have wanted me to see him that way. I had to pry to get him to allow me to see a picture of him that is on his Face Book page or I would still not know.

 

He was going to Kent State but has now dropped out. I did not find out until I tracked him down by the internet. When I found out, he was in California taking care of some step aunt that was ill, with the help of his step brother. That one didn't make me too happy because it took me a couple months to find him as no one in Akron was saying a thing about it. When I quizzed him about school, his claim was that he didn't have the money but I know that is fasle because my stepdad set up a fund that would have paid for his college. Only thing I can figure is that somehow his mother got a hold of and blew the money.  He is back in town now and I have told him it is time to look for a job.

 

I hope that Richard and Shirley are well next door. I am sure that he is majorly confused after obama won the election. I am sure that he is having a hard time dealing with a Democrat in the White House that is of color with his white sheet at times. Tell him that he will never be my president until he produces a birth certificate that proves he is a natural born United States citizen as the Constitution requires. There are still court cases active on this issue and hopefully some court with have guts enough to do the right thing and make him produce something other than the bogus documents that he has so far.

 

As Mother's Day approaching I want to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. I miss you and love you with all my heart. You are the one that has brightened me in some of my darkest times and inspired me to reach for the stars in my fights. I would love nothing more than to be able to sit with you and talk and hold you close as I have done before. You are the last for me and I only can pray that you can see to allow me to be with you again some day. I do not want to spend the rest of my life alone but if it is what God wants then it will be.

 

Tell Sugar to behave and that her daddy misses and loves her.

 

I have always been here for you and always will be. I would love nothing more that to pick up the phone and hear our voice on the other end to just talk.  Please call me if you want to talk at 330-907-0664. That is the new cell number and I would love to have you buzz my pocket as you did before, to talk to you are I crawl in bed and when I get up in the morning.

 

I love you with all my heart and always will.

 

 

 

 

Tami,

 

Greetings from the land of who knows where I am today. Frankly I never seem to know where I am or where I am going lately. I am living my vagabond life at 50 that I was supposed to live in my 20's. It is not fun at times but strangely it has helped to make some major progress in some areas.

 

The work that I was doing in Ashtabula is gone thanks to poor management and the economy. I drifted south to work with some friends down here but that has been slow to develop also. Everyone wants something done but they don't want to pay for it or is afraid to pull the trigger on anything right now thanks to the state of the country.

 

The job up north was starting to get to be a little too nerve racking for me. I was putting myself too close to danger every day thanks to a couple of lazy co-workers.  I broke a toe during the summer and then on my birthday had a 600 lb. steel beam roll on to my leg. Bad bruise from that one but luckily no breaks. I have seen some wild stuff though; we had waves 15 feet tall for two days on Lake Erie. Until you witness the first hand power of Mother Nature you have no idea what water can do in a storm like that. I did go to site today to check out the damage from waves. It moved ton and a half blocks of concrete like they were toys. There was one piece that was like a 20 foot long highway divider that was moved 30 feet from its position that it had not moved from in 30 years.

 

I did get to go fishing for perch over the Labor Day weekend. I had to buy a fishing license which is the first time in my life I have had to do that. Last time I went was with my grandfather and he has been gone since I was 15. But everything that he had taught me kicked in and I caught the first fish of the day and he seemed to guide us to the spot that we anchored for the day. We did catch our limit of 120 that day (30 each for 4 people). It was fun to get out and away from the crap for a day and hide well away from the world with people that are fun to be around.

 

Barb and Dave (Hazel's [the woman I rented a room from] daughter and son-in-law) are fun to be around even though Dave and I are at opposite ends of the male perspective. He is the hunter killer macho outdoors type, not over bearing in it. Barb is a sweetheart of a girl with a smile that will light up a room. This is second marriage for her. It took them a couple times of me coming out to the house with Hazel for them to figure me out but now I am treated like family rather than a guest and put to work everyone else. Of course it helps that the drunken roommate is no longer allowed out there because of problem he caused and lies he told. It is nice to be able to talk with educated people that have a brain unlike most around this area. They may be Steelers fans but they do like Ohio State. 

 

The advocacy work continues and as I have now passed the one year mark in dealing with the federal courts, I have seen my ups and downs this past year. Every time there is a down it just makes me want to fight harder but it does take a toll on the head and heart. We have seen good and bad on many fronts this year.

 

There is my case which is still sitting in Cincinnati at the Federal Court of Appeals. They have a question before them that they do not want to answer. My friend Chuck is stalled with the same issues in State Court in Columbus with a different level court that does not want to answer the question also. Yet we plug on and wait for our chance at a day in court. There are days where I want to pack it in and give up but I refuse as this is the only thing I can do for my son and his future.

 

The custody bill that I wrote a few years back is starting to show some life again and garner some support with Ohio legislators. I feel even more confident that we can get this introduce very soon as I got a call last week from a guy that I have been working with that has a verbal commitment to introduce the bill.. It will be a major up hill battle but more and more parents are stepping up to the plate now. I have the information to make this work and the experience from having done it before. This may be the last stand on this legislation but we have to continue to try to bring this about.

 

This game is wearing on me physically and mentally as I talk to more and more parents that have been screwed by this system. There are nights that I want to cry myself to sleep but don't have the emotions left to do it. At times this sucks the life out of me. You said that you were afraid I would get hurt fighting this in court, the hurt was done a long time ago and my killer instinct has kicked in. Making the kill will depend on my ability to maintain an even keel over the coming months so that my head stays in the game. I have help but it is from a distance and that just does not cut it all the time.

 

I did not choose this war, it chose me. Criminal court you are tried once and found guilty or innocent. Civil court you sue once and get an award or you don't. Domestic relations, they can keep coming at you with new allegations and just wear you down to the nubs if you are not strong enough to stand and fight. Attorneys often tell you to take the deal and shut up. Mine always knew I was going to fight for my son and we had a fun time doing it together. Doing it on my own was fun also. I may not have won all the battles but in the end I pray that I will win the war.

 

Hopefully all is well with you and Sugar. I miss you both and Akron in general. You both still way heavy in my heart despite the fact that I have not seen you in some time. I hope that you are still working in these rough times and that the doctors have not done something that cost you your employment. Jobs are hard to come by now even with the specialized skills that you have. I tried to call your old work number just to hear your voice one day but that number is no more.

 

Yes, I am the one that tried to send both of you flowers in October. You deserved them and it is one small gesture I can do to say that I am sorry for things that have come between us in the past. I was hoping that you would see past the hurtful things that we have done to enjoy the small token. You will never leave my heart and will always have that special place. That is a void that only you can fill, no one else will ever be able to do that.

 

I have always been here for you and I am but a call or email away if you need anything.  I hold no bitterness over the past and pray that you don't also. I will love you always from the depth of my heart and soul.

 

With all of my love,

 

 

 

Ray